This One’s For All The Women

Note: I wrote this post 2 months back but just didn’t feel like it said everything I wanted to and still feel that way. But I hope you get the sentiment behind this post.

Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev on Pexels.com

Hi Goddess- yes, you – this one’s for you!

To the woman walking home after dark -eager to get home quickly, clutching on to her phone tight incase she needs to make a quick call

To the woman going on a date – wanting to have a good time but worrying that her red lipstick might give him the wrong idea

To the woman afraid of the lockdown – and the abuse that follows from being locked up with her husband

To the teenage girl heading to school – nervously tugging at her school uniform’s skirt as men pass by leering at her

To the newly married woman – passed over for that promotion at work cause soon she’ll be starting a family and then work would come second

To the divorced woman – subjected to judgements ranging from affair to infertility

To the girl on the crowded metro – trying to find a corner to avoid the ‘innocent’ pushes and pulls of bystanders

To the skinny girl – tired of hearing the ‘you’ll fly away with the wind’ joke

To the curvy girl – feeling conscious in her sleeveless top

To the young girl playing on her uncle’s lap – unaware that his hands shouldn’t be that high up her skirt

To the woman excited to wear her new dress – only to be catcalled as soon she walks out of her apartment building

To the working woman – called incomplete for not having found a mate yet

To the home maker – unappreciated for all the work big & small that she does, almost invisible to those she loves the most

To the woman who wasn’t believed – when she called out her boss on his inappropriate ‘innocent’ touches

To the woman who was mocked – for being too sensitive and crying too much

To the woman who was called ‘psycho’ – for not trusting her cheating boyfriend

To the solo woman traveller – feeling nervous as she heads for the hike by herself

To the woman who has to work twice as hard as her male colleague – to prove that she wasn’t just hired for how she looks

To ALL the women – labelled, judged, ridiculed, scarred, oppressed, hurt, ignored, forced to conform to ridiculous beauty standards, forced to conform to a patriarchal society and forced to compete with each other.

It isn’t easy to function in a society that has been developed to block your every move – but you make me so proud. You fight all your demons & the naysayers and slay every single day! Ignore the noise that tries to drown out your success. Enjoy your drink and your dresses. Choose what makes you happy. Stop sacrificing in the name of love. Walk out of that job or relationship if it doesn’t make you happy. Curvy or skinny – own your body and be proud. Pull up your fellow goddesses. Stop questioning other women’s narratives. Ask for help when you need it. Stop making excuses for bad behaviour. Stop settling. Trust your gut. Choose yourself over others. Stop feeling guilty. Learn to say no. And above all have faith in your self no matter what!

Some things are harder to change but if we work together today, we can leave a more beautiful world for our daughters. Lets smash the patriarchy*!

If you liked this post, check out my post on things that need to change in society for women.

*But what is the meaning of “Smash The Patriarchy”? Smash The Patriarchy (or Down With The Patriarchy) refers to challenging the dominant social, political, cultural, and economic thoughts that value the idea of hegemonic, toxic masculinity over everything.

PS: For everyone that thinks that feminism means asking for ‘special’ treatment for women, it isn’t. It is just about being treated absolutely equal with men – no gender conforming roles and attitudes. Patriarchy is so instilled in all of us, including women, it is difficult to identify and resolve. Eg 1: every single form in India asks for father/husband’s name? Why hasn’t this changed by now considering there are so many more women opting to be single parents? Eg 2: Judging women – this is so instilled in all of us. If a drunk woman is raped – everyone’s first thought is – she was asking for it. Being a feminist means changing these perceptions to neutral ones.

Disclaimer: I am not encouraging drinking – it isn’t good for your liver and health and can become an addiction for many. But enjoying a drink or two – once in a while is totally ok. Please be safe while drinking.

Checkout my other recent posts-

42 Comments Add yours

  1. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    I’ve been seeing wave after wave of women working hard to change perceptions and how we are treated. Each generation seems to breed a new crop of men who behave in hurtful or negative ways towards women. I see my 14 year old grandson struggling with the roles he feels are being imposed on men and upon him as a person becoming a man.

    I have found that while we can’t change the whole world, we can have honest dialogue with a few men in our lives.

    By really getting to know each other’s struggles we can learn more about what we’re needing in this world. My grandson talks to us about the things he hears from other girls and from his guy friends. We talk with him gently, not becoming angry, because anger, even if it is justified, becomes something which stops the other person from hearing us!

    We have a lot of bridge building to do! Sending out love to you all!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Love how you are bringing up your grandson. ❤ My cousin brothers are also the same – been sensitized by all of us. But I also feel like some ideologies are so ingrained in all of us – gender aside. Like I mentioned in the posts – every single form in India, every single government ID has dad/husband's name and no one thinks it is weird. I've always been a mumma's baby and remember being furious when I saw my passport as a kid and saw my dad's name in it since I wanted my mum's name on it. Even small things like this really do need to change now! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

        Absolutely! Keep bringing awareness as things only change when more people become aware and no longer wish to follow status quo! There’s still a lot of work to do!

        Like

  2. Nehal Jain says:

    This was too good, di!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you!!

      Hoping for a better, more equal future for you and your generation. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Guuuurrrllll I can’t even, this is so badass and fab! I love it so much and every word speaks to me. This is absolutely goddess vibes and I want to bottle this post and then share it with every human being that exists. Thank you Goddess Moksha, you’re amaze balls! 🌺🌺🌺

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you!!!! ❤ I actually thought about you A LOT while writing this – your posts definitely inspired this!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Moksha, that means SO much, I can’t even tell you, thank u! Sometimes I can’t tell if my words matter, u know? So this is so meaningful to hear, thank u!!!! 😊😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

  4. bosssybabe says:

    Yes, Moksha! I can hear you screaming this over here! Thank you for posting this! I relate to more than one of those things you listed and I know every woman finds herself somewhere in there, which is unfortunate but I hope we are moving in the right direction. Did I ever tell you that you’re also a Goddess? 😘👑❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Me too!! I hope we are able to leave a better tomorrow for future generations including your daughter. ❤
      Aww, you're a goddess too!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Ib says:

    This is beautiful! I’m very proud of women! Yes, let’s smash the Patriarchy!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      YESSSSS!!! So proud of all women and the beautiful future we are working towards. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I wish there was a “love” button instead of a “like” button. I LOVE this. You are so wonderful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Aww, thank you so much, goddess!!

      Like

  7. LET THIS POST SINK IN.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I need time to process and reprocess this write-up.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. SamSahana says:

    I’d give this post an award, if I could. Here! 🏆 SOOOO powerful, brilliantly composed. I love every bit of it greatly. Women are always judged no matter what they do. “Stop sacrificing in the name of love” is a very very important lesson for all women. The fact that women would forgo their passions, dreams and ambitions for their family is… Too many sacrifices for something not too rewarding.
    I will never marry. Being the aromantic (and loner) that I am, I’d strive to channelise my energies towards making a difference in the world rather than reserving it towards “mammalian urges.” There’s more to a woman’s life than marriage. Most Indians don’t see that. Hopefully this is the last generation that way.
    You said everything right! Thanks for this truly empowering post.
    Let’s smother patriarchy!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much, Goddess!!!
      I don’t believe in marriage either, it doesn’t work especially in a country like India which is so patriarchal. There are so many post marriage “rules” for women, that most women just accept and go along with. And so much pressure to have children (again something I don’t want).
      To working towards a better future for all women! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I just loved this, Moksha. You might feel that this may not have said all that you wanted to but this was beautiful. It covered so many important points. I have been outraged at the fact that none of the forms ask for the mother’s or wife’s names. It’s always the father or the husband! Patriarchy has been so ingrained in the moral fibre. It has to be changed from the grassroots. I hope that the future generations will be more sensitized.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I’m so glad that it did say it all. ❤
      Yesss, patriarchy in India (and other parts of the world) needs a real shake up! The crazy part is that most people have started labelling feminists as women asking for "special" treatment. A lot of my guy friends think that way too and it is honestly so disheartening.
      But here's hoping future generations have it better!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s sad that such a beautiful concept is being misunderstood by majority of the people. Here’s to hoping that the future generations have it better

        Like

  10. cathyishappy says:

    Such a powerful post. Thank you, thank you, thank you

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you for reading! ❤ ❤

      Like

  11. winteroseca says:

    Thank you so much! I needed that today

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      You go, goddess! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. winteroseca says:

        Like

  12. Riya says:

    Wonderfully penned🤩

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you!!! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Megan says:

    Loved this. This an absolutely wonderful post. The fact that it’s 2021 and women still find themselves in these situations is upsetting. This was beautifully done and I will probably read this over and over again.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      IKR? 2021 and yet whenever I have to take a cab late at night – I feel the need to text a friend my live location. *SIGH* I hope things change in the future!! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  14. Shiny787🤍 says:

    ummm 5 words: can I pleeeeeeease reblog this? ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Haha – sure! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  15. Wonani says:

    This is AMAZING!!!
    Thanks for sharing this Moksha! I’m saving this for whenever I need to be reminded of everything here.
    I love love love it!

    Let’s SMASH the patriarchy! Smash it!!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. akshita1776 says:

    we need more posts like these! so so good and brutally honest

    Liked by 2 people

  17. fgsjr2015 says:

    I sometimes wonder whether general male violence, philandering, sexism and controlling behavior toward girls/women are related to the same constraining societal idealization of the ‘real man’ (albeit perhaps more subtly than in the past): He is stiff-upper-lip physically and emotionally strong, financially successful, confidently fights and wins, assertively solves problems, and exemplifies sexual prowess.

    Maybe society should be careful what it collectively wishes for.

    Shortly after Donald Trump was sworn-in as president, a 2016 survey of American women conducted not long after his abundant misogyny was exposed to the world revealed that a majority of respondents nonetheless found him appealing, presumably due to his alpha-male great financial success and confidence. (Relevantly revelatory may be the Toronto Now article headlined “Keep Cats Out of Your Dating Profile, Ridiculous Study Suggests” and sub-headlined “Men were deemed less masculine and less attractive when they held up cats in their dating pics, according to researchers”. Supposedly weak or sensitive men need not apply, one presumes.)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. da-AL says:

    sadly, here in the U.S., these happen as well…

    Like

  19. This is a beautiful post!! Thank you so much, many women needed to hear this. I’m non-binary and people think that means I think women are below other genders(because I was born female and now I identify as a different gender) but it’s just the opposite. I’m a raging feminist and I believe that my journey as a nonbinary human has helped me realize even more the inequality between genders. so thank you for posting this, it needed to be shared!!! ❤
    Have a lovely day!

    Like

  20. I’m so proud of you and every woman out there!

    Like

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