Things That Need To Change In The Society For Women

This is definitely a rant post, I got off the wrong side of the bed – kidding. I woke up and saw something on Instagram that just irritated me. Our society has different rules and standards for men and women. While women are tirelessly working to change this but things are still slow to change.

Here are a few things that the society needs to stop putting women through –

Pitting woman against woman

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I saw this video on Instagram today morning – comparing Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian’s answers in Vogue’s 73 questions interview. When asked the one THING they can’t live without Selena says her family and Kim says KKW contour. First of all the video was edited, the question asked to Kim was the one product she can’t live without. Second, even if it was real – the question was one thing not person so her answer is legit. Plus, the Kardashian family is what it is because of excellent marketing skills – and that’s what she is doing here.

It is so annoying that people find the need to pit women against women. How often do you see a video like this about two extremely successful men? (Imagine pitting Jeff Bezos against Elon Musk) The worst thing is that women are so quick to jump in and pull down other women. In a world where the odds are stacked against us, women really need to stick up for other women.

Shaming women for not having children

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Yes, we’ve been given the miracle of being able to birth but that doesn’t mean we HAVE to have children. Just because someone has been gifted with a beautiful voice doesn’t mean they have to become a singer! Stop pressurizing women to have children. If it is not your body, if it is not affecting your life – you don’t have a say in it. PERIOD.

Forcing body and beauty standards on women

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This one is personal – I’ve grown up listening to acquaintances tell me that I’m never going to find a man because I’m fat and believing them. It is not okay to force these ever changing body and beauty standards on women. In my teens, I couldn’t even find my size in clothes from popular brands (until M&S came along and made me feel normal but even they only had sizes up to 20 back then). I also don’t understand the need for a separate line of clothes for larger women. Brands think that they are trying to be inclusive but excluding larger sizes from the regular clothes they have and having a whole other section and range of clothes seems like they are singling out larger women. I haven’t seen any such thing for men atleast in stores in India – the same clothes have larger sizes to accommodate all sizes of men.

You need to be fair, you need to be size zero, you need to be tall, you need to have silky hair, your nose needs to be smaller, you need botox, you need to colour your grey hair, you need to wear makeup to cover your acne scars – STOP. Nobody needs to fit into a particular mould that the society thinks is a perfect woman. If someone chooses to do it because it makes them happy – that is perfect – but no one should be made to feel ugly or less than because they don’t meet the “ideal” beauty goals.

Expecting women to do all the household work

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We are in the 21st century, can we stop expecting women to manage the entire household? A home is an equal partnership between a man and a woman – similarly all household work should be a 50-50 partnership between the two. Men need to be pulled up when they don’t help around with house work. Similarly, men don’t need to be praised if they do work at home – they are just doing their work, just like women have been for centuries without praise.

Judging women or shaming women for what they wear

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Can we please just stop doing this already? I totally understand judging the clothes if it doesn’t match your style but judging the woman in the clothes for wearing those clothes – needs to stop. Stop shaming women for wearing clothes that they like – whether it is long clothes on a beach or short clothes on the street.

I know this is a rant post but these are genuine things that need to change in the society. What are some things that you think that need to change in the society?

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87 Comments Add yours

  1. Saumya B says:

    I wish there was an option to like the post twice because I loved this so much. After this post I can say, you’re so honest. I mean I could relate something that happened with me to all the points. It’s so sad people go ahead and fake things just to spread hatred amongst celebrities and it sucks to hear you need to be pretty because you’re a girl. This is all just so true, I couldn’t agree more.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Age old things that are continuing till this date – it totally sucks. But I truly believe that if we all stick together and work together – we can definitely change things in the future. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Saumya B says:

        You’re right ✨

        Like

  2. cosmogyral says:

    👏 very well written!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. YES!!! I love all of these!! Stoping the shaming and judgement is so critical in the fight for equality (and just for being overall happier people…)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Totally agree!!! High time things start changing around the world!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. akshita1776 says:

    This is so accurate. People need to understand this. I have always been called scrawny but that’s not a choice! And quite frankly it doesn’t matter.
    Get that into your heads people!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yesss!!! The shaming really needs to stop!!! People don’t understand how much it impacts people’s confidence and happiness because of body shaming. It is high time this culture changes.

      Like

  5. So so true! I completely agree with each and every point. I don’t know why there are different standards and ideals for men and women. Great post, Moksha.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      It has been like this for so long – men wear lose overcoats while women stuffed themselves into corsets to give their bodies ‘shape’. But it is high time this changes!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely. I totally agree

        Like

  6. It’s a harsh reality we live in. Women still go through a lot no matter how hard we work and try to address some issues, they seem to just catch up with us at some point in life.

    One of my friends told me about how everyone in her family keeps asking when is she going to have a child and get married. She feels pressured and told me she just wants a man who is willing to sleep with her and give her a child then leave her, she’s willing to raise the child alone.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Exactly – and this is a problem across the globe!

      Wow – that is crazy! My parents have been sitting on my head about getting married and my older sister’s head to have a baby. They aren’t forcing us but it comes up ever so often in a conversation – and it really bugs me. :/ I just don’t understand how forcing someone into a marriage or having a baby will make anyone happy. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  7. vaniheart says:

    Couldn’t agree more 👏 👌 🙌
    I just hate hate all these foolish things people do… in the name of “but you are a women”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      RIGHT!!! I hate when the entire family meets up and the men sit on the table and women set up the table and serve them food and wait to eat at the end. I have always found it so absurd. But now that I’m grown up – I put my foot down and make the men help around too.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Talkthirtea says:

    Absolutely love this post. People need to stop being so judgemental. Women in 2021 are under immense pressure, beauty standards, the need to have a career, be successful and hold it down at home too! It’s ridiculous… not to mention the pressure of having children and a family life. Thanks for this read happy panda! 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Seriously! It is like no matter what we do – we are up for judgement. If we are successful at work – people find flaws in our personal lives. If we have a happy family – people point out that we aren’t focused on our careers. Its like we can never please this society! ARGH!

      Like

  9. Very true. As a man, I know that men are not going to volunteer to take up household chores. That’s the shameful side of a man. As frustrating as it seems, women will have to force men to treat them right. This is such a genuine and honest post, appreciate your effort at writing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s not hard to find a man who volunteers to do household chores. Not where I live. It’s all about finding a man who respects you and doesn’t simply see you as a servant.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You must be in an ideal world 🙂 in my part of the world, it’s non-existent. To some extent, it’s better in urban areas but nowhere closer to the stage where men and women share responsibilities equally!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Happy Panda says:

      I honestly think this is true for South Asian men. But in the Western world, since men stay away from home during college and work – they do help with some if not all the household work.
      In India, women have been suppressed for so long that they don’t even realize that there is something wrong in the fact that they have to do all the household work whilst also working. :/
      But I agree with you – women will have to force men to begin with. Force them to understand equality begins at home. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So true what you say about the realization part. It is unfortunate that they are ignorant of their own rights, the realization of which is the first step towards bringing about a change. But seeing how things stand as of now, that maybe too much to wish for 🙃

        Like

  10. I agree with all of these, and can sympathize with women who don’t want children. I don’t want kids and I don’t think people should have kids unless they want them. There are a lot of people having children only because they feel like it’s “normal” to do so, and it shows.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I agree. So many people live this checklist life – school, college, job, marriage, kids, buy house – they do it because it is expected of them and not because they want it. I also wish more people would adopt children instead of have their own – there are millions of children around the world that need love – why not give them love?

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Silver Stone says:

    Seriously, there needs to be an option to like this post as many times as we wish, cause this is such a powerful post!

    I 1000% agree with you on all these points. Such stereotypes are just too negative to even be considered as “standard norms”, they just don’t understand how negatively it affects men and women of all ages. I hope that they ust fade away someday……

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      So agree. But I think it will only fade away if we all work together to make it happen. We need to step away from these stereotypes passed along from generation to generation – and change the narratives of our lives. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. https://tamarakulish.com/ says:

    Rant or not, these are all very very valid points! Well said!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  13. samsahana says:

    I appreciate this post so much and I’m soo soo glad I came across your blog. I’m impressed by the kind of things you choose to write and how crisply and interestingly you put them across. The “beauty standards” are the most ironical in themselves. While people in India want to be fair and spend thousands on fairness creams, people in the west tan themselves. What’s beautiful in one part of the world isn’t in another. But we can’t change for that everywhere we go. The best we can do is not care and be the queens that we are 😉 Every woman is inherently one.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Love your comment! So true! We need to stop giving into these beauty standards and truly believing that we are beautiful! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  14. ABSOLUTELY 💯 YES TO ALL! Thank u for writing! It’s true, all this is all bullshit and the more we keep bringing it up and talking about it, the more it will hopefully change 💖🌸🦋🙏

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Yessss! To a better future for all of us!!! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  15. cathyishappy says:

    Well said and so true. Thank you for sharing your rant! Totally justified

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you! Hoping for a better future for all of us! ❤

      Like

  16. Sonali says:

    All of these points really hit me. More power to you ♥♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you! Hoping things change for all of us! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sonali says:

        Most welcome! ♥♥

        Like

  17. utahan15 says:

    a complicated post, yet well considered
    i m not a woman so i say equal but different
    as far was wanting a man
    do you even want one?
    consider it deeply and give yourself the time you deserve
    and never ever compromise your values
    or settle for second best
    good luck
    best wishes
    and all those other superfiicialities

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much!
      I don’t ‘need’ a man but it would be nice to have one around to chase the lizards out of the house. 😀 😀

      Like

      1. utahan15 says:

        good golly gosh~

        Like

  18. Ella says:

    It’s interesting how in most societies women experience the same problems. Hopefully, it will get better as we become more aware of it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      It is odd how after all this time, women across the globe still don’t have basic equality. :/
      Hoping we can change things for the generations to come. ❤

      Like

  19. Jas krish says:

    Why can’t we allow people, men or women they way they are ..let them become what they want to…yes women suffer more….the mindsets will take ages to change…we have long way to go…. unfortunately there are many men and even women who do not feel therefore us a need for change…… There are different set of rules for the genders…..but the fight must go on.
    Stay blessed Moksha.
    🙏🌹🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      True, especially in India. A lot of women are still not aware of the biases and inequalities. I hope things change for the better for the future generations!
      Thank you so much!

      Like

      1. Jas krish says:

        🙏🌹🙏

        Like

  20. nushhe says:

    Soo true!!!!! This was a strong and supportive 😀❤❤ I totally agree….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Thank you so much!
      I hope things improve for all of you next generation! 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. nushhe says:

        😊🥰me too

        Like

  21. Megan says:

    YES!! The amount of pressure society puts on women is getting to be unbearable. Something needs to change.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Really! It almost seems like we are constantly fighting against the society or giving in and being miserable. I hope we can change things for the next generations to come. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Katie says:

    YES to all of this!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Loved it! I so agree with you! One more thing that annoys me a lot, when a man cries people say don’t cry like a woman or crying isn’t manly. It really hate this thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      I KNOWWW! We all have tear ducts – I don’t know why it is made out to be a girly thing. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Thanks for bringing attention to this! Just shows how hard it can be for women in today’s world to feel good about themselves when there is so much expectation from the outside world

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      So true! Every time a woman is like I am succeeding at X, society will be like – oh but you are sucking at Y, so you’re a failure! :/ No one will bring up Jeff’s failed marriage when talking about his success but if it were a woman they’ll manage to sneak it in. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  25. petespringerauthor says:

    You raise some important issues. Most definitely, there is a double standard in society between men and women. One of the ways I see it is the way that people are judged as they age. I think women feel certain societal pressures to try and remain young-looking while many men who go gray are referred to as distinguished. I taught grades 2-6 during my career, and I saw/heard girls putting each other down for their clothing choices in 5th/6th grades. I think this is learned behavior as younger girls don’t do this.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      So true! George Clooney is hot with his salt and pepper look but a woman is considered past her best age if she leaves her hair white. It is very amusing (and mortifying) but in Bollywood our superstars are all 50+ playing college students in movies with women who are in their late 30s/early 40s playing their mother. 😀
      I wish there was a way to change this behavior from an early age. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Preach sister! I think being a South Asian makes the whole situation worse! We have a lot of work to do to reduce gender bias!💪🏽💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Definitely! I think in our countries women don’t even realize that these things are an issue. Like women doing household work – it is such a norm that they don’t think it odd at all when men don’t help. :/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually! I love how our generation is working towards a better goal for ourselves!

        Like

  27. Nehal Jain says:

    Omg, this spoke volumes! One more thing I absolutely despise is women being judged when they cry or when they get angry! I mean go to hell people people, it’s not our fault u don’t have feelings and can’t even shed a tear, if we ate miserable, instead of using that judgy tone on us, ask us what’s wrong and listen to us, or better- just leave us alone and let us be miserable.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Seriously! ‘Don’t be a girl’ – WHAT even? All of us have tear ducts so what does it even have to do with gender? I also don’t like – ‘don’t be a pussy’ or ‘you don’t have the balls do this’ crap!
      I really hope things change for your generation! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nehal Jain says:

        Yes, i know right!!!!!!!!!!
        yeah, me too!

        Like

  28. cheriewhite says:

    I couldn’t agree more! Women have had it hard enough without who are supposed to be their sisters dragging them down. And I love the part where you mention women being weight-shamed and I’m so sorry you endured that, by the way. Women already have enough pressure put on them without all the superficial demands like weight and what they wear. Awesome post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Truly! I don’t understand why we are conditioned this way to pull each other down. It’s almost like women are taught that another woman’s success is her failure. :/ I truly hope all this changes for the generations to come. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. cheriewhite says:

        Women are very competitive, sad to say. Any woman who has to drag another down is very insecure, fearful, jealous, and pathetic. And you’re so on point with your line about women being “taught that another woman’s success is her failure” because that’s exactly how they feel when another female reaches success.

        Like

  29. Wonani says:

    Yes to every single thing you have mentioned!!
    I have a story to tell for almost all the things you’ve mentioned.
    Some things need to stop.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Really! It sucks! :/ I hope we all work together to change things for the generations to come.

      Like

  30. Juliette says:

    I completely agree, 10000% with what you just wrote. Every single one of these things needs to change and even though some of them are, it is still too slow and it is not “global” enough. What frustrates me the most is that no matter what we do or how we do it, as women, it will always be *too* something, and on top of what the society does, we put pressure on ourselves for so many things too!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      True. It almost seems like they’re out there to get us. I almost feel scared to celebrate any success I have because people are so quick to pull me down on something else. :/
      I really hope things change for all of us. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  31. This is soooo true, well said!

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Debjyoti D. says:

    Why do we, women have to be always compared to men? We are unique in our own way and deserve the same respect as any man.
    Workplace harrasment is a social evil that continues to strain the social fabric. It has been a evil that has plagued the female workforce for a very long time. Some cheeky comments with sexist undertones can always catch you off-guard. Some valiant men will overplay their gentleman role putting you in an unwanted damsel in distress scenario. Even some women might boost their ego by making you a butt of all jokes! We have a similar blog published. Would love to know your opinion on the same too.

    https://wordskraft.com/2021/06/18/things-not-to-say-to-a-female-co-worker/

    #MyWordsKraft

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Lani says:

    Good and important reminders for women everywhere!

    Esp women on other women, we really can be our worst enemies. An interesting thing one of my ex’s once said, ‘women wear lipstick for other women’ and that gave me pause. I think 9 out of 10 men (at least American?) prefer their gals to look natural and when it comes to body shape and types, I thinks that heavily shades into personal preference. But women’s mags (at least in the past) told us we needed to look a certain way, but that way was really suited for the fashion industry, not reality.

    Like

  34. Kritika says:

    Completely agree with the mentioned points. At least see them as human first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Hoping for a better world for the future generations of women 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kritika says:

        Hopes are high. We can do it. Fighting.

        Like

  35. Esha says:

    You took words out of my mouth. I have met my fair share of judgemental people like this — I always tell them that the world has enough problems for us to focus on, like racism, sexism, world hunger, climate change, homophobia, poverty, and what not. Can we just focus on how to deal with those more than who wears what on the street or how many children someone should have? People’s priorities are so messed up!

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Saparza says:

    You’re absolutely correct! Nicely penned!

    Like

  37. So true about the body shaming part. Especially when a girl does that to another girl. I don’t understand the obsession on having a perfect size body. It’s alright if you are a little chubby. I am a little chubby and I am happy with myself. It’s perfectly healthy and its not affecting me in any other way. I am so tired of people thinking that a woman will not find a man because she is not thin or fair enough. Well I don’t want those type of men. And I don’t understand the unnecessary societal pressure to get married by 30???people have said that to me before that if you don’t get married by 30 your first kid will not be born healthy. It’s somewhat true if you are in your late thirties but it feels like they want us to get married to breed babies for them and not for genuine companionship. It makes me so frustrated😤

    Like

  38. Shelly DS says:

    Great post Moksha! It’s such a drag when people impose their views and expect everyone in the world to comply. And it’s absolutely rude to comment on someone’s weight and tell them what they should or should not do. Next time, a slap could work wonders in such a scenario😤

    Like

  39. I love this post. I would also say that in addition to not shaming women for not having children, society needs to also respect ALL career choices for women. For instance, I want to settle down and start a family and be a stay-at-home mom once I get married and I have had people say that it’s a waste of potential. Being a traditional mother can be empowering when you are given the freedom to choose a different path and still find yourself wanting to take on the job. Anyway, love the post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Happy Panda says:

      Agreed! The world would be a better place of everyone stopped judging other people and minded their own business. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  40. Amita says:

    I was the witness of this, since that day I was thinking how can I change the world with this kind thinking, then I realised I can’t not change all of them but yes at least some change, I am mother of a son , I am trying to teach him values so my son respect the women n thier values. If I am able to change at least one future men I will I am successful.

    When I read this with this I can relate myself, you r true writter. Keep it up dear🙂

    Like

  41. Jasrameshen says:

    Really appreciate it

    Like

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