I recently had an encounter that left me wondering if I’m a total weirdo. It wasn’t an out of the ordinary sort of an encounter but I’ve been overthinking my reactions thereafter mainly because I might have ruined what could have been a pleasant encounter by being weird. So here’s what happened…
I met someone and… they complimented me. Yeah, I’m going to explain that. I am really awkward about compliments – I never know how to react to one, I usually mumble a thank you and try to make a quick getaway. Usually it’s a single, general compliment but this time this person complimented me on a couple of facets and it got me SO freaked out. My first instinct was to mistrust what they were saying – my brain went into over drive – surely this person was being THIS nice cause they wanted something in return from me. My brain started flagging everything they were saying as red flags! I got really awkward and tried to change the topic everytime the compliments came up or brushed them off and instead of accepting the compliments tried to explain how they were not true.
I know you’re thinking – she has self esteem issues – which I do and don’t. There are some fronts – like physical appearance wherein I do have self esteem issues – something I’ve been working on for the past few years. But in general I am just terrible at accepting compliments. It’s not even about getting them from someone new – even with friends and family – I get super awkward – unless it’s just about the pretty dress I’m wearing. I guess I grew up in a family that didn’t just hand out compliments that easily – you really had to earn them. Maybe that’s what’s made me THIS awkward about accepting compliments especially if I feel like I haven’t outrightly earned them. I’m also socially awkward and I guess that factors in too.
So what is the correct response to a compliment? Are you supposed to blush and say thank you? Are you supposed to compliment them back? What is the socially acceptable “normal” response? Am I weird?
I haven’t been writing a lot these past few days. Too much work, a lot of anxiety and very few ideas. So definitely checkout my recent old posts and give them some love –
Happy Panda 
I don’t know if you are weird. But if you really are, then I am as well. Because I am very bad at accepting compliments… and apologies too.
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OMG YESSS apologies too! I get so awkward and want it to end ASAP. I think my social anxiety just has it bad in such situations. But I’m going to work on it to be able to deal with compliments and apologies better. ❤
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I’m sure u can do it ✌✌
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This is very relateable !
On a compliment, I try to courage up a smile and that’s it
Ig that means we are both weird🙌🙌
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Hehe – Hi5 sista! 😀
I just have this crazy urge to tell them that they’re wrong – which makes me feel so weird.
But definitely going to work on this cause I want to enjoy this feeling. 🙂
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Don’t worry, the struggle is normal. And you’re not weird. You are just unique like everyone else, in their own way! 🙂
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Heheh – thanks for that – made me feel better. 🙂
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You’re not weird, you’re just human. And to be human is to be weird so it’s okay. I read in Shonda Rhimes book that when someone compliments you, you say thank you, shut up and smile, you don’t question yourself or the person who compliments you, you just don’t let that train reach the overthinking station. You have complete control over what goes on in your mind, so next time, say thank you, shut up and smile. Her book is – Year of Yes
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That’s great! I am gonna definitely look this up!
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That sounds like really good advice. Thank you, shut up and smile – trying that out next time.
Thanks for the great advice! ❤
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❤️
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Moksha don’t worry. I can totally relate! Honestly I am gonna keep an eye out for comments on this post because I have no idea either XD. Compliments in my family is like seeing a full moon after four months 🤣 so I know what you mean by that.
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Right? Is it an Indian parent thing – where they find it hard to compliment us?
But I really want to be able to enjoy a compliment without feeling the need to RUN AWAY!
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Not. Weird. At. All.
Compliments are one of the hardest social phenomena!
Easy mode ‘ok’ response is to just say ‘thank you’.
No buts, no rejections, no additions. Just say thank you. Eventually it gets easier!
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My first instinct is to explain to them how they’re wrong – so I definitely need to work on that. But I’m going to try to say ‘ thank you’ without squirming away next time around. 🙂 ❤
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Moksha, I genuinely have don’t much to say when compliments me. All I say is thank you in return.
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That is good enough – I usually run in the opposite direction 😀
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And I’m very bad at apologizing to someone lol
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hahah I think I find it hard to accept my mistake but when I do – I apologize pretty well. 😀
Also, love, your website link has some issue. I keep seeing the error ‘skinfitnessandlife.wordpress.com doesn’t exist’
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I also meant the same that I find it hard to see and accept my mistake…ya don’t know wats the issue I ll work in it
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Omgosh I am exactly like you, extremely awkward with compliments too. Sometimes I even outright deny them but I’ve started to learning to just take it in and say thank you. I guess it really depends on context. Last week my bosses got me something as a thank you for my hard work and said all these lovely things about me. My usual reaction would have been, aw you shouldn’t have, it’s part of my job, don’t worry about it etc etc etc (minimizing).. But instead I told them how wonderful it is to be appreciated and recognized for the work I do and I also appreciate them as bosses as well! 🙂 if I’m uncomfortable I tend to tell them something positive about them too, to get the spotlight off me lol… Sorry you’re feeling anxious and stressed, hopefully this period passes quickly!! 🙏
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That actually makes sense – to appreciate being appreciated – that might make me a lot less awkward about getting compliments. Thanks for the advice! Definitely going to keep this in mind. 🙂
Yeah – it’s just been stressful these past few days. Hope things look up soon. ❤
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You’re definitely not weird!! I can relate. I’m kind of a coy person so when I get compliments, I really don’t know what to say (other than thank you).
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Thank God – I’m not the only one. I just get so flustered and find it hard to mumble a thanks. 😀
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This is sooooo relatable!! I hate getting compliments and now that I’ve read your post I think the reason is probably cause my family didn’t dish out compliments that easily too 😬😂 I get awkward too never know what to do!
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Right? OMG – I’ve had to REALLY work hard to get compliments with my folks so now I think I need to work hard to get compliments from anyone else too. I usually look down on the floor and try to convince myself to not run away. 😀
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I’m exactly the same!!! I just blush and go all quiet and awkward 😂😂
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I feel this! I never know what to say to compliments. My go-to is usually just “Aw thanks, you’re too kind!”
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Hehe – I am going to try saying that next time. It sounds like what Beyonce would say if somebody complimented her. 🙂 😀
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I, too, am a socially awkward weirdo, and I think it’s actually quite normal. I think we all feel a little out of sorts and in over our heads pretty much all the time. I’ve just started trying to embrace it.
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Same – and I think my friends and family get it now but I always feel weirder when I meet new people – would they get my social awkwardness?
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I sometimes have trouble with new people, as well. I never know quite what to say…
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I always respond awkwardly to compliments too. I think I just never expect them and get blindsided. A lot of the time I don’t believe the compliment either, so it’s hard to accept it.
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OMG SAMEE! So compliments about my appearance always have me thrown off cause I don’t expect them and they’re hard to believe – I just start overthinking everything the other person is saying thereafter.
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Aww bummer you feel bad about this. It’s def a journey. I think the best response is to say “thank you, that makes me feel good.” And then leave it at that. Force yourself to do it and not apologize, even if inside you’re squirming ☺️ DEF no need to compliment back. And maybe look at it like maybe it makes the other person feel good to say this to you, so it’s a win win. You’ll get there! xoxoxo
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I just said that in my head to practice and even just practicing it made me feel squeamish
I really really need to work on this!
Thank you for the advice – I’m definitely going to try it out next time around. ❤
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Ha it’s ok 🙂 I used to actually cringe at the word “beautiful” and couldn’t say it ever! I’d say “Oh that sunset is so B.” And then something changed and now it’s not a thing. I say it all the time now and I don’t mind. Talk about weird ha! It’s totally ok, you’ll prob come around when you’re ready 💞
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I was exactly the same a few years ago when a lovely friend suggested that I PRACTICE smiling and accepting a compliment with a simple thank you! I was sure glad she had suggested practicing, because it sure didn’t come naturally!
Now that I’ve also worked on teaching myself to like, even to love myself, I feel delighted with a compliment instead of feeling awkward!
I suggest practicing responding plus doing some mirror work as you speak gentle affirmations to yourself! Yes, it feels super weird at first, but I learned this from Louise Hay, and it really does make a huge difference!
Blessings!
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Practicing it does make sense – I’m definitely going to try doing that every day. I really don’t want to continue to live like this – being crippled by the fear of compliments. Thank you for that amazing advice ❤
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My pleasure! Practicing made a huge difference for me, I hope it will help you! 😊😊
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I am like this too, if someone praises me, I start finding the tone of sarcasm in it or start getting suspicious of what does the person wants from me???, and I also start finding something to counter compliment the person making it a competition if you praise me once I will praise you twice, which sometimes makes things awkward 😐😐😐😐😐
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OMG SAME! If it’s a friend or someone I know – I instantly want to praise them back – and it is so awkward to think of a compliment on the spot – and it just makes it SO SO SO awkward. Atleast I am happy to know that I’m not weird – and this is what other normal people do too. 😀
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it is natural to assume that they could have wanted something from you. self doubt or doubt about anyone or thing is an awkward proposal. relax, next time say thanks and have a n ice day.
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I’m going to try that – relax, not overthink it and just mumble a thanks.
Thank you for the advice 🙂
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you are who you are. simple as that. some can handle the rest cant. dont let their issues become yours. good luck and yw~
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I love your post and I have come long way to now really loving compliments and sincerely humbly accepting them with a smile 🙂
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How did you get there? I sincerely feel crippled by compliments – like they freak me out so much. 🙈🙈
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I think it is part of growth, healing, writing, blogging, expressing myself authentically, consistently practicing self love, owning my gifts, sharing my gifts with joy, honest communications – I think all my writings are indirectly or directly related to this process.
I read your blog because you are authentic, sincere, fun and truthful … and fun so I love it 😊💛💛💛🌹🌹🌹✨✨✨
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If that’s the case then I’ll be super weird. Even i can’t accept anyone’s complementary. I just smile at them, JUST SMILE. 🙂
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Haha – I am so glad to know that I’m not the only one. I just have to get away from anyone that tries to compliment me. But what I hate is when I try to prove to them that they’re wrong about the compliment – like I don’t get that instinct at all.
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Omg -talk about having to earn compliments from family. Growing up I had the same issue and afterwards whenever I received compliments -I would be so awkward about the whole thing. I know exactly how you feel.
Don’t worry about it – a large chunk of society is odd about receiving compliments. Especially as women/girls it’s hard to take it in -“me, beautiful, no?!”
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I get weird about compliments too. I think that a part of it is upbringing but also I think it has to do with how we are socialized as women. Take the complement as positive feedback, if the person didn’t mean it, that’s their problem and if they said it because they want something, that doesn’t mean the compliment is false or that you need to give them what they want. We are all weird, we just have to embrace it and find the people that are the same kind of weird.
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As everyone has stated, you are not weird. You just are not used to “free” compliments since you grew up in an environment where you had to earn it.
Love the suggestion from themoonlightgeek from Shonda Rhimes’ book. Now that you know that compliments can be free, I hope that you now learn to graciously accept them. 😍
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Maybe I’m a super weirdo then! When people compliment me I just smile, I never know what to do or how to react and at those moments, I find my smile the best weapon. And when my classmates compliment me all of a sudden I just ask, “what’s the matter?” It’s a bit different in the blogosphere because when I get compliments from my readers, it’s easy for me to say thank you because I’m now comfortable with them.
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